For details on how we came to be at this position now (as in - void of Beany, Pumpkin, Chewie AND Eggy in our lives...) please go here : The Cat Cabin - Saying Goodbye
If you're still here reading this then I'll assume you're all caught up and are now looking to find out what we've got to share with you about our future...
You could quite literally say that losing them all shook the very foundations of our lives (myself and Johnny) and we felt as though we were floating around being on autopilot completing orders, doing everyday small things and just... going to bed early to be honest! That in itself says a lot - a heck of a lot... about our mental states :-(
A week or two before Eggy passed away I did something wholey uncharacteristic of myself and went in search for cats and kittens on Gumtree - yes I KNOW - the devils place to find pets etc. I wasn't actually seriously looking - just more of a "take my mind off ... everything" kind of thing. Anyway I foolishly let myself get into a sort of "daydream" effectively about having a kitten (something I've never actually.. wanted - ever... although not that I have anything against them OBVIOUSLY, they turn into my beauties lol...I'd just never had one before and always adopted in older cats).
A few messages between myself and a couple of interesting adverts suddenly began to make me think clearly -What on earth was I doing?!
Yes - despite the fact we'd just lost Chewie, everyone - stranger, family member, people who've known us for years etc.. was telling us to get a kitten?! for Eggy to have company but we didn't do that sort of thing here... only the vulnerable, the elderly, the unwell.. not a bouncing bundle of new squishy kitten!?
To top that, the replies I was getting from these people made me feel nervous of the whole thing! The sort of posts that make your skin crawl as you know something just doesn't sit right. So I left it... went back to just doing work, spending time with Eggy and then coming in late at night to -well towards the end - literally sit and stare at the clock to count down the hours until we had to go out again as all we wanted to do was be with her and surrounded by the feelings of the other babies out there* but didn't want to crowd her and she needed sleep and rest.
(*close your eyes and you can almost imagine they are still waddling around you, Chewie up on the food cupboard or microwave so she has a view of the room, Pum in and out of her bed or waddling around sniffing everything... and "Duck-quacking" obviously. Beany on his stool gently paddling at my leg and mooing soflty where you'd look up and see him staring dreamy eyed back at you for simply being there with him.... and Eggy hopping in and out of everyones beds to warm them for them but pretending to be all "I didn't do it, you didn't see me - don't tell them I was in their beds" and cute lol...).